‘Professor, I Shrunk The Elf’

by GoldFox

“Aww, bummer!” Forge muttered as he was sparked again. He had to get this connection done! He was flat on his back, fiddling around under a machine that looked like something out of an old 70’s sci-fi movie.

It was like a combination of a dissembled robot and a stove. The ‘body’ sat wide on the floor, with just enough room for Forge to squeeze underneath. A huge ray-looking thing dominated the top part of the mismatched pile of hardware. Forge muttered again as he was zapped once more and heard a German-accented voice ask in amusement, “Hey man, what are you doing?”

Forge turned to look and but didn’t see shoes. Instead he saw a two-toed blue foot and a barbed tail, blue and furry as well. Forge gave the wires a firm tug, and responded, “I’m working on my new invention, Kurt.”

Kurt chuckled, answering, “Obviously.”

Forge then slid out, snapping in a good-natured manner as he pointed his cyborg-arm at Kurt, “Hey! When she’s done, she’ll be real gnarly!”

Kurt rolled his eyes at Forge’s 70’s speech, but then said gently, “Okay. What’s this one supposed to do?”

Forge grinned, and stood up, his arm turning back to human shape. He wiped oil from his hands as he said, “Well, when I reconfigure these circuits, it’ll shrink stuff and resize it.”

Kurt looked genuinely interested, saying, “Really? Sounds like that machine in ‘Honey, I Shrunk The Kids’.”

Forge looked confused, saying, “Huh?”

Kurt then chuckled, “After your time.” He pointed to the ray, asking, “Anyway, does it work?”

Forge shrugged, “I don’t know yet, Dude.”

He then went and opened a small box and Kurt was instantly at this side, asking with a grin, “Oooh! Donuts! Can I have one?”

Forge shook his head, saying, “No. They’re not for eating. I’m using them as test subjects.”

Kurt looked horrified as Forge positioned the innocent pastry on another table, saying, “What?! You’d sacrifice chocolate for science!?” He then asked seriously, “Forge, how long were you stuck in that dimension?”

Forge sighed, and said, “Just step back, okay?”

Kurt did so, muttering about wasted chocolate as Forge pushed a few buttons. There was a soft clicking sound and then a flash of light that made Kurt wince. When they could see again, they both looked at the table to see…the donut still sitting innocently on the tabletop, unchanged. Forge’s face dropped, and he said, “Aww man! Bummer, dude!”

Kurt let Forge pout a while before asking, “Hey, can I have the donut now?”

Forge went and used a pencil to poke the donut before replying, “Yeah sure. I’ll be back in a while, okay?” Then he left, muttering a bunch of technical stuff Kurt couldn’t understand.

Kurt smiled and walked to the table, saying with a childish grin, “Just you and me now, pal.” Kurt jumped up on the tabletop easily and picked up the donut, smiling.

Murphy’s Law: Anything that can go wrong, will and at the worst possible time.

But Mr. Murphy likes to show up every now and again, and Kurt suddenly fell over as a massive explosion shook the house. Kurt thought he could hear Logan shouting at Jamie for having touched something and chuckled as he sat down. Poor Jamie. The kid’s curiosity was gonna get him in big trouble one of these days.

Kurt then focused his attention on the donut, but then, too late, heard a soft clicking noise. Kurt tried to ‘port but then there was a bright flash and Kurt giggled at a tickling sensation all over his body. It was over really fast though, and when Kurt opened his eyes, he found things still appeared normal.

Normal, that is, if you ignored the fact that the room had grown incredibly huge. Or rather, that Kurt had shrunk to a height of a few inches.

Kurt felt himself over, but found himself unharmed. He was fine. He then realized his hand was empty and said, “Where’s the donut?”

With a thud that nearly deafened him, the donut fell down on top of Kurt, who by the good grace of God, had been standing perfectly so that he stood in the hole of the donut. Kurt stood still, his tail tight between his legs. He then relaxed, chuckling weakly, “Oh…there it is.”

But then Kurt got a really good whiff of the donut and grinned. Without thinking twice, he went to the side and bit off a mouthful of the chocolate. Oh Lord, that was nice!

So nice, in fact, he did it again and again. Kurt licked his lips clean and said softly to the air, “Forge, you’re a genius!”

He then bent down and bit some of the plain pastry and then stuffed the rest of his mouth with the frosting. Kurt smiled happily as he chewed, and then wondered how much of the enormous pastry he could actually eat.

Kurt chuckled at his appetite and then decided to test it. Why not? He had nothing to do until Forge got back anyway!

Ten minutes later, Kurt had miraculously broken through a ‘wall’ of the donut, his normally blue hands brown with chocolate. Kurt paused to lick them clean and then happened to look down at himself. His normally flat stomach was bulging just a little bit. Kurt was surprised. He had eaten so much, yet it hardly showed. Wow!

He then grinned and attacked the pastry again. He toyed with the idea of tunneling into the curve of the donut, but that would mean he’d have to miss the chocolate, so he tossed the idea and scraped off more of the sweet sugary substance, stuffing his face with it.

Kurt kept eating, finding he could indeed eat a lot. He’d practically eaten a quarter of the donut, and his gut wasn’t all that big yet! He wondered if it was a side effect of Forge’s machine, but decided to ‘eat-chocolate-donut-first-ask-questions-later’.

He broke off a hunk of the pastry and sat down, holding it between his legs as he took bites out of it, smiling widely. But then he tired of the plain pastry and dropped it, lunging back to the chocolate. The donut was drying out a little, and when Kurt grabbed at the chocolate, a sheet of it came off in his hands. Kurt smiled and attacked it; his tail in overdrive as it swished back and forth in pleasure.

He then finished the sheet of chocolate and once again, preyed upon the defenseless donut, licking off the still-liquidy chocolate and nipping at the more solidified stuff. For a while, Kurt’s world was nothing but donut, but after a while, Kurt realized he couldn’t move. He was sitting down, another sheet of chocolate in his hands. He grinned and rapidly consumed it, sucking each finger to clean it.

But then Kurt was able to see himself and stared. He was huge! Kurt then looked up in surprise and his eyes nearly popped out of his skull. Half the donut was gone! Kurt stared for a while and then laughed. Good lord, was he greedy!

Kurt then giggled and shifted himself to have his back against the inside curve of what remained of the donut. The chocolate was hard, so he didn’t worry about it staining his clothes. He snuggled down, letting his hands rest comfortably on his gut and he relaxed, beginning to purr softly. His tail twitched a little, hovering by his head as he let his eyes close.

Forge came back twenty minutes later, muttering softly to himself about conductors, fluxes, cross-currents and resonators and then saw something weird. The donut was half gone and there was something small and blue with it. A mouse of some sort?

Forge went and leaned close and realized what, or rather, who it was. For a minute, Forge was scared, but then saw that Kurt was sleeping and with the exception of looking like he’d swallowed a beach ball whole, looked unharmed. He’d eaten half the donut, at such a small size?

Forge had to admit he was impressed. Kurt’s eating abilities were really weird, and to a scientist like Forge, were unusual and thus, worth studying. Forge then grinned as he walked to his machine, thinking to himself that he was pretty sure that Kurt wouldn’t object to future experiments, as long as there was plenty of chocolate.

He rigged the ray to put Kurt back to normal and was about to push the buttons, but then smiled. The elf still had the other half to finish, didn’t he?