‘Birthday Stuffing’

by GoldFox



Kurt sighed heavily as he walked the school hallway. Mentally, he ran over his list of things to do. He should get started on that project for health class. It was a presentation about STDs and the bitter irony was not lost on him. With him being him, he would never have to worry about getting a sexually transmitted disease. Because for that to happen, you actually had to have sex!

He sighed again, his shoulders slumping. What next? Oh right, he had to go to his bank to get a loan to pay back Logan. There had been a rather unfortunate accident with the Canadian’s bike. In some way that wasn’t at all Kurt’s fault, it had been teleported over a cliff. Kurt shuddered, and swore to himself never to take one of Evan’s dares ever again!

And there was something else… Oh right. He had Danger Room sessions this afternoon. With Logan of all people.

Kurt sighed and ran into Kitty. Kurt wasn’t moved by the impact, but Kitty bounced off his broad chest and fell, her books slipping to the ground. The bell rang as Kitty quickly re-gathered her books and sprinted off, shouting over her shoulder, “Jeez, Kurt, like, be careful! I’m late!”

Kurt tried to greet her, but his greeting faltered and died as it addressed her backpack and then the empty hallway, “Oh hi… Kit…ty…” He turned back to his way and found himself looking at a suit.


He gulped and looked up and their principle, Mr. Kelly, glared down at him, saying crisply, “Mr. Wagner.”

Kurt swallowed hard, answering meekly, “Mr. Kelly, sir.”

Kelly crossed his arms, saying in a soft, dangerous tone, “Shouldn’t you be in class?”

Kurt nodded, and hugged one strap closer to his chest, murmuring, “Yes, sir. I’m on my way.” He started to walk off, but then Kelly’s voice rang out, “Mr. Wagner.”

Kurt looked to the ceiling, begging for it not to be too bad and turned around, looking innocent and smiling weakly. Kelly, however, wasn’t smiling. “If we have another of these little discussions, you’ll be in detention for a week. Is that understood?”

Kurt gulped, and pictured spending an hour with the members of the brotherhood, and nodded franticly, saying, “Yes, sir. It is.”

Kelly then waved Kurt away, saying as he walked off, “Good. On your way.”

Kurt got to his class, but fortunately for him, he was able to get to his seat before role-call and skipped out on a tardy. He slumped into his seat and promptly lay his head on the desk, sighing deeply. The surface of the desk got wet and slippery from the moisture in his breath and he wiped it away in irritation. Then he dragged his notebook out and began to take notes.


A ten-foot diameter saw blade whizzed past Kurt as he hung upside down from the ceiling, clinging like a spider to the cold steel panels for deal life. Once the blade had passed, he let go and ‘ported to the other side, trying to get to the level. But just then, another blade whizzed out of nowhere and Kurt ‘ported back to the ceiling, trying to find another plan of attack.

Just then, he heard a metallic clank and pushed himself off the ceiling, shooting downwards like a skydiver, avoiding the giant metal fist that had almost make a Kurt-sized smear on the ceiling. Kurt tried again to get to the lever, but was knocked clear across the room by a mighty whack of a giant robot’s arm.

Kurt blinked his vision clear and with a yelp, scurried under some wreckage to avoid a hail of bullets. Even though the bullets were made of rubber, they still hurt like hell if they hit you!


He cowered under the rubble, trying to keep still and hidden, when a burly man grabbed his arm, gripping tightly and he growled at the blue mutant from under an orange and blue mask. Kurt then reported shakily, “I can’t get to it! There are too many!”

Wolverine then growled in scorn, “Don’t give me excuses, Nightcrawler! Get me results!” Kurt nodded and curled up, planning to get at least ten seconds of no motion, but was suddenly and literally kicked out of the shelter, Logan’s cry of, “Get out there!” ringing in his ears.

Kurt rubbed his rump, where he’d been kicked, and protested, “But…”

Logan crawled out of the shelter and ran off, slicing a bit of machinery and he shouted, “NOW!”

Kurt then muttered softly, “Yes, sir, Wolverine.” and ran on all fours after him. But then Kurt felt something like a semi hit his right side and he flew through the air. Seeing he was heading for a wall, he quickly ‘ported. Unfortunately, when he reappeared, he still had all the momentum of when he had teleported and hit the ground hard, bounced and rolled, moaning. He got back up and started running again, nimbly navigating his way through a twisting kaleidoscope of metal.


Finally, after what seemed like hours, he got to the switch and while Logan was distracting the giant robot, he leaped at the switch. He had the thing in his hands when he felt an iron grip crush his chest, pinning his arms down to his sides. He looked and saw it was another robot. Thinking fast, Kurt used his tail to pull the lever down. The robots creaked to a halt as a computerized voice stated calmly, “Training Simulation Number 5643 Completed. Shutting Down.” Logan leapt to the floor while Kurt was released.

Kurt hit the floor and fell his knees, his legs too weak to support him. Logan stalked past, and Kurt looked up at him, saying weakly, “Did I do good?”

Logan stopped and looked down at him, growling, “If you had been trying, we would have gotten that done in half the time!” Then he stalked off.

Kurt stared after him. Now he was alone. He rolled over to his back and voiced a cry of frustration, pain and anger.


Kurt was very quiet at dinner, eating his usual amount without so much as a single comment. The others didn’t seem to notice, but just went on talking amongst each other. Kurt finished his fourth plate of mashed potatoes and sausage, got up and cleaned his place. No one noticed as he left.

He went up to his room, and lay on his back on the bed. Idly, he unbuttoned his jacket and slipped his shirt up enough for him to rub the fur on his belly, feeling how his skin was bulging just a little. He liked that full feeling and often, he wondered just how much he really could eat. He giggled as his imagination ran away.

Kurt smiled for the first time that day as he rolled over and, with one arm wrapped around his little tummy, went to sleep.


Sometime during the night, Kurt must have crawled out of his clothes and into his covers because Scott woke him the next morning by means of stripping the sheets off him. The sudden cold woke Kurt and he was able to hear the words, “Kurt! Get up!” and understand their meaning. He sat up groggily, asking, “What?”

Scott then threw a shirt at him, saying as he walked out of the room, “School!”

“Ugh…” Kurt grunted, but got dressed. He struggled with his pants for a while, for the moment not remembering how his tail fit into the special hole, but he got it eventually and after putting on his hologram, ‘ported down to breakfast.

But he got there just as Storm finished putting the last empty plate into the dishwasher. She looked up, saying, “I’m sorry, Kurt, but you missed breakfast.”

Kurt’s sprits fell, and he grumpily ‘ported out of the kitchen into Scott’s car. He was about to mutter a good morning to everyone, but the minute he was materialized, Scott leaned back and barked, “You’re gonna make us late, Kurt! Hurry up next time!” Kurt was a bit shocked by the rough greeting, but then slumped into the soft leather seat, nodding.

The school day was the same as the hundred other before: got to class by the skin of his teeth, was bored, took notes to look busy, ate enough at lunch to feel only slightly less hungry than usual and then another car ride home. Once at home, Kurt told everyone he was taking a nap, but wasn’t sure anyone had heard him. He sighed and walked to his room, went in, shut the door behind him and then collapsed on the bed. He groaned aloud into his covers and then rolled over.

Then, like he often did, he unbuttoned his jacket and lifted up his shirt and began to massage the fur on his stomach. It was the softest fur on his body and he loved the way it felt. He ran his finger over his abs, feeling their sharp, defined features.

He sighed a little. He did like being fit, but every now and again, he liked feeling nothing but soft fat there. He knew it might have been kinda weird. I mean, come on, the entire American population was obsessed with loosing weight and here he was, dreaming about being fat. Because of his metabolism, he didn’t stay fat for long. God, he bet that even if he stuffed himself silly, he’d sleep it off overnight!

He sighed again and rolled over, burying his hands under his belly and went to sleep.


Kurt was woken up by someone gently nudging his shoulder. He blinked and heard Scott whisper softly into his ear, “Kurt? You awake?”

Kurt moaned as he rolled to sit up, muttering, “I am now.” Kurt stretched and then his stomach growled loudly.

Scott laughed, saying in shock, “Jeez!”

Kurt blushed a little in embarrassment, not having it seen due to his blue skin and fur and shrugged, saying, “Sorry. I’m starving.”

Scott then smiled and said, “Good.”

Kurt asked in confusion, “Huh?”

Scott only smiled, saying as he went out the door, “Come on.” Kurt followed, using his tail to rub sleep from his eyes as his hand worked to tie up his pants. He had forgotten to take a shirt, but didn’t really care. He followed Scott down the staircase and came to dining hall, and stopped dead in his tracks. The dining hall had been decorated with crepe paper and colorful little banners. The long table was covered in food and drinks and everyone in the mansion was around the table. Seeing him, they shouted as one, “Surprise!” Kurt was so shocked that his tail fell flat to the floor, the dull thud the only sound in the following silence.

He then asked in confusion, “Huh? What’s… going on?”

Jean came forwards and hugged Kurt, saying with a laugh, “Oh come on, Kurt! Don’t you have birthday parties in Germany?!”

Kurt was still confused, saying, “Birthday?” But then his eyes lit up and he looked at Scott, asking in eagerness, “Is it--?”

Scott laughed, saying, “Yep.” He got Kurt into a headlock and gave him a Dutch rub, saying as everyone laughed with good humor, “You forgot, fuzzy blue elf?”

Kurt squirmed free and looked around, saying sheepishly, “I guess I was so busy with other stuff…”

Suddenly a voice called out, “Enough talk! Cut the cake!”

Laughter erupted, but then Scott said softly, “Wait, Jamie.” Then he looked at Kurt and said, “Kurt. I also want to apologize.”

Kurt, who was eyeing the huge table of food, looked up, asking, “What for?”

Scott then said, “We’ve all been so tight and stressed and the professor just brought it to our attention that we’ve been using you as a release of that stress. We’ve been rough on you. We’re sorry.” He looked at the others, saying loudly, “All of us.”

Kurt was a little stunned and asked, “Really, guys?” They all nodded or gave a similar signal. Kurt felt his heart beat a little faster as he said in genuine surprise and thankfulness, “Wow… thanks…”

Then Scott smiled and said softly, “Oh, and Kurt. The professor gave us this idea too. All that…” He waved his hand at the table. “Is for you.”

Kurt’s eyes got huge and he looked at Scott, reminding the taller X-men of a puppy as he squealed happily, “ME?!”

Scott laughed and hugged Kurt, saying, “Your own personal buffet.”

Kurt returned the hug, bouncing in place, face rubbing against Scott’s chest like a cat as he said happily, “Oh Scott! Thanks a bunch, man!” But then he paused and withdrew, looking at everyone, asking, “But you guys…”

Scott then cuffed Kurt softly, saying with a grin, “We already ate.”

Suddenly the cry of “Cake!” came again, but this time it was multiplied by ten-fold. Scott then laughed helplessly, seeing ten Jamies, all of them holding an identical slice of cake, and said to Kurt, “Well, you know Jamie.” Then he chuckled, “All four hundred of him.”

Kurt shrugged and rubbed his hands together, saying with a wide grin, “As long as I get the rest!” Scott laughed and the festivities began.


Thankfully, when the professor had apparently probed his mind, he had also picked up on the fact that Kurt didn’t exactly want to the world to see his hidden gluttony streak. So with the promise of games and movies, Scott left Kurt alone with the table of food, winking. Kurt then literally pounced on the table and began to sample everything.

He found he could move around easily on the tabletop, without having to worry about spilling anything and mentally thanked the professor again. But then, with his half a cupcake in his mouth, Kurt suddenly heard a soft voice in his head, saying in an amused tone,

Kurt grinned widely, and quickly chewed up the cupcake, and swallowed it, licking his lips clean of icing. He then grabbed a hot dog and without even bothering to get a bun, bit off a chunk. He took his time mashing the warm meat in his mouth, getting the full taste before gulping it down and finishing off the hot dog in one huge bite. Kurt then scampered back to the sweets and cleaned his mouth with a chocolate cupcake, licking the thick, gooey frosting off his fingers as he ran back for a hamburger this time.

This time, Kurt controlled himself long enough to pile the burger with tomatoes, onions, lettuce and cheese. Then he sat down in a chair and took his good sweet time to take huge bites out of the burger. He finished it quickly though and leaned back, sighing happily with one hand on his stomach. His tummy was already a little soft, but not nearly enough.

He then got two big plates, filling one with cupcakes and sweet gooey things, while the other he piled high with veggie sticks. Most likely for Kitty, Kurt thought with a grin. Kurt ate a carrot stick, then a cupcake. Then some celery, then bits of raspberry fudge.

Back and forth, back and forth. The sweet guilty indulgence of sugary products and then the cool refreshing cleanliness of the vegetables. Shockingly fast, both plates were empty and Kurt was already up for the next stage of the most coveted item on the table: cookies!


They were warm and soft and Kurt lost no time in mashing two of them together to make a cookie sandwich and shoving it into his mouth, chewing in pleasure. He swallowed, took two more, spread a thick layer of icing between them and did it again. He did this over twenty times, making huge triple-decker cookie sandwiches, spreading a crazy amount of frosting and icing on them and then stuffing the delectable item into his mouth.

He sat on the tabletop, patting his belly, which was getting quite large, about the size of a football. Kurt suddenly realized he was purring and smiled. He wasn’t done yet! He got up, swaying a little from the extra weight up front, and sauntered down to the best part of his meal; the cake itself.

Kurt sat down in front of it, admiring it for a moment. It was huge! It was one of those special, double layer cakes. It was easily a foot in diameter, and about six inches high. With the exception of a tiny cut where Jamie had taken his piece, the cake was perfect and unmarred. Kurt leaned close and took a deep sniff and was sure that his brain had just exploded from the sheer chocolateyness of the enormous pastry. Kurt then took the knife and cut himself a modest slice; one that dwarfed the one Jamie had taken. He admired it for a minute more before his stomach won out and he literally shoved the thing into his face, chewing away like mad. He cut another piece, and it vanished as quickly as the first. He then cut up the rest of the cake, to save time and attacked it.

About halfway through the cake, Kurt took a pause, licking his hands and tail-tip clean. He lay down on his back, and then tried to sit up, but couldn’t! He looked up and burst out a laugh. His belly was the size of a decent watermelon and he didn’t even want to think about how many pounds of food he’d eaten in the last hour! He chuckled, and grinned naughtily.

He then extended his tail and plunged the barb into a nearby can of frosting, coating the arrowhead with soft, velvety milk-chocolate fudge. He then stuffed it into his mouth and sucked it like a lollypop, humming his pleasure at the rich taste. Suddenly Kurt gagged and hastily spit out his tail-tip and began laughing softly. He had almost swallowed his tail! Man! When his body was hungry, anything was game!


Kurt chuckled some more as he rolled over to sit up, his now-fat belly making the move very difficult. Kurt then went back to attacking the cake, gulping down the chocolate as fast as he could scoop it up. For a while it was a blur of cake and frosting, and when Kurt’s mind came back to earth from a sugar-coated heaven, the first thing he registered was disappointment. The cake was gone. Then he felt an odd tightness around his chest. At first he thought it was his shirt, stretched too tight over his belly. But then remembered he hadn’t been wearing a shirt. He realized suddenly that he was lying on his side, on the floor. He then looked down at himself and had to admit he was stunned.

It wasn’t his ‘shirt’ that was stretched tight. It was his own skin! His stomach was like a blue, furry beach ball! The sight of it seemed to trigger something in Kurt’s dazed mind and he began to purr, loudly and deeply. Kurt smiled, realizing that for once in his life, he wasn’t hungry anymore. He tried to roll over to sit up, but couldn’t. He was just too heavy! Plus the movement had hurt.

He stopped trying to move and lay still, rubbing his fat belly as he giggled childishly, muttering out, “I’m a fat elf…” He then laughed aloud.

From the other side of the table, he heard a familiar male voice ask, “Kurt?”

Kurt giggled and stopped purring to reply, “He’s not here right now. Leave a message at the tone. Beep!” He then laughed loudly as footsteps came near, stopping in front of him, and then moaned softly in pain.

Scott then said, “Kurt? You okay?” But then he saw just how fat his friend had become and even with his visors on, his eyeballs near about popped out of his skull. Scott stared, muttering, “Oh… Oh wow.” Scott watched Kurt giggle for a while, rubbing his three-fingered hand over his bloated tummy. Scott then asked, “Umm… can you even sit up?”

Kurt giggled and then said with a wide grin, “I fell over and I can’t get up!” He demonstrated, and yelped in pain once more.

Scott sighed and said, “Jeez…” He went to Kurt’s side and got behind him, intending to get his friend up by all means, even if he had to roll him! He then said, “Okay, Fuzzy. Up you come.” But then he cried out in shock, “Good God!” as Kurt whimpered softly in discomfort. Scott couldn’t move him! “How much did you eat?!” Scott asked in shock.

Kurt giggled once more, and admitted with a wide grin, “I ate the cake!” Scott looked at the table, saying in surprise, “Yeah, and about half of everything else on the table!” Kurt’s only response was a giggle and then a soft sound that could only be described as a ‘murrroan’, a deep-throated purr of contentment and a soft moan of pain combined. Scott marveled at his friend’s ability to purr, wondering how he did it.

But then Kurt whimpered a little, rubbing at himself like trying to soothe a pain. Scott then asked in concern, “You hurt?” Kurt wanted to tell Scott how, yes it hurt, but it also felt so good! Sure, his gut felt like it was going to pop, but he was full! And that made him happy. But all that came out was a squeak as yet another bolt of pain lanced through his stretched body.

Scott sighed deeply and said to the air, “Will he be okay?” Kurt couldn’t understand why Scott was talking to the ceiling. It’s not like it would talk back! He rubbed at his gut again, feeling the soft fur and fat underneath, his purring mechanism kicking up again full force. He then saw darkness and came back to the present. Scott had turned off the lights, commanding the day to surrender to the night. This made Kurt giggle a lot, and Scott just sighed as he gently covered Kurt with a blanket, saying softly, “Jeez Kurt… You sure are full of surprises.”

The blanket hid Kurt’s huge belly, but the blue mutant kept rubbing at it, finding himself drifting off to sleep as Scott walked out of the room, pausing a moment to take the last surviving cookie. He turned back to take one more look at Kurt, his purring reminding Scott of a fat lazy cat.

Then he took a bite out of the cookie as he left, shutting the door quietly behind him.

FIN

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